Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
