i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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