I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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