She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
