oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
