I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
