Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
