I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
