Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
