if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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