i need an iv and a liver transplant
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize