fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
being pregnant is like rehab
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
