I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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