Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
