plz talk dirty to me
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
