very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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