Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
