When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
whose parrot is this?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
