sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
