So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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