nut hugger
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
