I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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