Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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