that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
