what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
