i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
