Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
