This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
