just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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