im having a threesome with these popsicles
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
