after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
