I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
