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I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
zippers are such a cool invention
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
