I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
