Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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