im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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