Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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