Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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