found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
