so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
