Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
