Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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