Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
