Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
