is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You are a genius and a whore.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
