Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
