I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
