Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
