i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
