Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
