I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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