He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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