ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
