the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
We left the knife in your bed.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
