weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
