So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
