She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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