If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Randomize
