just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
