I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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