You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
