What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
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