Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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