i just made my gag reflex go away.
do herpes really smell.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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